As the title says, make a classic FizzBuzz function or method without using if/else (or equivalents like ternaries, ?:, sneaky).

Specifically:

1. The function should accept one argument, assume it will always be a positive integer.
2. The function should return a string (or something coercible into a string in loosely typed languages) according to the following rules:
   1. If the given number is divisible by 3, then return Fizz
   2. If the given number is divisible by 5, then return Buzz
   3. If the given number is divisible by both 3 and 5, then return the combination FizzBuzz
   4. If the given number is none of those things, then return the given number

The expected outputs for the first fifteen numbers in order is:

1,2,Fizz,4,Buzz,Fizz,7,8,Fizz,Buzz,11,Fizz,13,14,FizzBuzz

Hard mode

Do this without "secret" conditionals like || and && (in loosely typed languages like JavaScript) or null coalescing operators like ?? or null safe operators like ?. or &..

Also no looping constructs that could be abused into a conditional like while or for.

Hint number 1

I tagged functional on this post because functional programming can be used to solve this.

Hint number 2

I tagged oop on this post because the original object oriented concepts of message passing can be used to solve this.

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Post below with your answers!

Think this is impossible? I'll post my own answers in both FP and OOP styles next week.